Being Led

I heard the song Lead Me by Sanctus Real for the first time this afternoon. If you click the link, you can hear the story behind the song - it's an awesome testimony. Very honest about some of their struggles, and the need to depend on God and seek His guidance.

When I first listened to the words I thought how appropriate some were even for me as a single mum, I certainly can't do it alone. I need God to lead me!! The days I'm struggling as a mum, I hope I'll hear this song again and be reminded to depend on God and seek His leading as I love and lead my girls. There's a great prayer to pray for your children on the website too. Love the song, think it might become a favourite.

Hooray for Stick Figures

I'm so excited - Sarah's started drawing her first stick figures! As she draws the faces, she explains who each one is and tells all kinds of stories about what's happening for that person - whether they're happy or sad, and why. It's so cute. Yep, I love being a mum.

The never-ending colds with kids

If you're like me, catching up with friends and their kids in winter seems so difficult at times. Someone's always sick. My girls have been sick on and off most of this winter. Had to phone my friend this morning who I've been aiming to have over for a couple of weeks. Her kids are sick too. Poor Lucy's still not well, trying to figure out whether I should take her back to the Dr again or not.

A couple of weeks ago I read this really helpful, practical post by Jean. I love that I can sit with my girls and cuddle them when they're sick - this morning the house looks like a bomb's hit it, cereal all over the floor that I desperately want to clean up, and we need to take the car to get repaired. Time to let the real priorities surface as Jean suggests - I want to love my girls! Yes, the car needs to be repaired, but the floor can wait.

The Odd One Out

Most, if not all of us, have felt like the odd one out at times. Seems that more often than not I feel like that as a single mum. Perhaps these are the times I need to look at myself differently, not as a single mum, but as a child of God, loved and made whole by Him, and to focus on following Him.

Last weekend I took Sarah to the dedication of some friends' little boys. I don't remember consciously thinking this at the time, but afterwards I think I felt upset because I can't offer Sarah and Lucy what my friends, as husband and wife/mum and dad, can offer their boys. They're committed to teaching their kids about Jesus together.

Since coming to this realisation, I've been reading a book, 'My Single Mum Life' by Angela Thomas, given to me by one of my parents' friends, who is also divorced. Angela writes about a similar experience of feeling like the odd one out (pxv, xvi):

'Then I made the mistake of looking around. All the other families seemed to be a man and a woman with some kids. Whole families. In truth, many could have been third marriages with blended kids, and dysfunctional as heck, but that night - at least in the glow of the Christmas candles - they looked whole. I know there are other single moms at my church, but at that service I couldn't spot anyone who looked like us. And my heart ached.'

As I was reading the gospel of Mark yesterday, this verse jumped out at me, 'At once they left their nets and followed [Jesus]' (1:18). I also noticed the reference to James and John (two of the disciples) as 'Sons of Thunder' (3:17), which the cheat notes suggest is related to their dispositions.

I was challenged anew that God wants to use each one of us to share His love with those around us. That He can use our different personalities and backgrounds. Yes, He will even use the 'Sons of Thunder', and even us single mums!! I can waste time worrying about why I'm not suitable to share God's love with a particular person, why I'm not ready yet... or I can leave my nets - my own plans and dreams - and follow Jesus.