I have no idea how many people read this blog, but I've decided to share a bit more of my journey - the longing for sex. It's kind of a risky topic, but as a single Christian mum it's an issue I've faced, and I'm guessing other single mums will face too. I'm hoping by sharing this there might be at least one person out there who might find encouragement in their own journey.
This morning I listened to a great talk on sex myths by Tom. As I started listening, and was reminded about the goodness of sex as God designed it, I had to stop and have some chocolate - they say that having chocolate triggers the same chemicals in the brain that sex does. The chocolate was good, but I'm not convinced it's as good as sex. But it'll do for the time being.
Having been married, I've had sex (you'd hope so!). And it was so worth waiting for.
I don't want to go into the details of what happened with my marriage, but the Bible makes it clear that God hates divorce because of the destruction is causes. I never entered marriage thinking divorce was an option if it got too difficult. I believe very strongly that both people should do everything they can to keep their promises to each other. So I won't go into why I divorced - I'm accountable to God for my decisions and actions, and I've talked to Him lots about it, and I also know that through Jesus we are all offered God's amazing grace that covers ALL our sins, regardless of how big or small.
When I was first separated, the longing for sex was a fairly significant issue for me. I chatted with another older christian guy who had been separated for a number of years and I mentioned this to him, and he agreed that he had struggled with the same issue. As time has gone by, the longing has still been there, but it's not as big an issue for me now.
I remember our Pastor telling me that once our sexual passion has been unleashed, it's hard to 'put it back', that you desire it even more than you did before it was unleashed. He went on to look at 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 where Paul talks specifically to the unmarried and widows - not the 'never before married' but 'unmarried' who he believes includes those who once were married. He says that it is better for them to marry than to burn with passion. Having been married and unleashed the sexual passion, I would agree that it's hard to no longer desire that. But as I mentioned before, recently the desire hasn't been as great as it was before.
Anyway, as Tom highlights in his sermon, God designed sex to glorify Him, and the best way to glorify Him is to have sex as He designed it, within marriage. So hard as the longing may be, God gives us the strength we need to wait and glorify Him. And if/when we muck up, He offers us His grace.
