Tough

I hate doing it alone.

Disconnected

I've decided that one of the struggles of motherhood that I often experience, particularly as a single mum with young kids, is feeling disconnected. Disconnected particularly in relationships.

The last few months I've finally been taking the girls to Sunday School consistently, but some weeks it's been a real struggle. I've often ended up either staying with them in Sunday School or taking them home early. Other weeks they've been OK till close to the end so I've had to duck out of the service early - it's all just a part of being a parent I guess. But I find that as a result I often feel quite disconnected.

I long for the day that life will be at least a little more predictable, and I'll hopefully feel a bit more connected.

Proud

Today I'm feeling privileged to be a mum. It's so exciting seeing my little girls grow into the unique people God's made them to be. Despite my many mistakes as a parent, there are times when I feel really proud to be their mum.

Last night apparently Sarah was explaining to my mum that I won't let her have cow's milk anymore - only once in the morning, and once at night - other than that she can have water, soy milk or juice. I read recently that cow's milk can sometimes contribute to constipation so decided to try reducing her milk intake. She went on to say that this made her cranky. Yay!!! I'm so proud of my little girl - she's learning to express her emotions in a healthy way.

Lead Me Prayer

I was drawn back to the song Lead Me by Sanctus Real last night. I was having one of those I-don't-know-what-to-pray-for-my-kids moments and remembered the prayer on the website, so wanted to find it again.

Decided it'd be worth sharing. I can't figure out a way to easily copy the text, so here's part of it.

'Lead me into a greater love for your word and truth, and into a greater hunger for you, so that my children might grow up in a home where your presence is known, learning by example what it means to seek you with all of their hearts.

Above all, lead me to the cross, the place where I might receive the grace required to humbly model for my family what it means to follow in the footsteps of Christ, loving and serving them as Christ loves and serves his church.

I bow my heart before you in recognition of my utter dependence. Leading this family requires more wisdom, selflessness and strength than I possess. But as you lead me me, I know that you will show me the way to lead them.'

You can read the whole prayer on the Sanctus Real website.

Being Led

I heard the song Lead Me by Sanctus Real for the first time this afternoon. If you click the link, you can hear the story behind the song - it's an awesome testimony. Very honest about some of their struggles, and the need to depend on God and seek His guidance.

When I first listened to the words I thought how appropriate some were even for me as a single mum, I certainly can't do it alone. I need God to lead me!! The days I'm struggling as a mum, I hope I'll hear this song again and be reminded to depend on God and seek His leading as I love and lead my girls. There's a great prayer to pray for your children on the website too. Love the song, think it might become a favourite.

Hooray for Stick Figures

I'm so excited - Sarah's started drawing her first stick figures! As she draws the faces, she explains who each one is and tells all kinds of stories about what's happening for that person - whether they're happy or sad, and why. It's so cute. Yep, I love being a mum.

The never-ending colds with kids

If you're like me, catching up with friends and their kids in winter seems so difficult at times. Someone's always sick. My girls have been sick on and off most of this winter. Had to phone my friend this morning who I've been aiming to have over for a couple of weeks. Her kids are sick too. Poor Lucy's still not well, trying to figure out whether I should take her back to the Dr again or not.

A couple of weeks ago I read this really helpful, practical post by Jean. I love that I can sit with my girls and cuddle them when they're sick - this morning the house looks like a bomb's hit it, cereal all over the floor that I desperately want to clean up, and we need to take the car to get repaired. Time to let the real priorities surface as Jean suggests - I want to love my girls! Yes, the car needs to be repaired, but the floor can wait.